i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Every concussion has its silver lining
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
