it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it glows. i had to have it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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