My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
