I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
