Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
