My Higher Power is John Stamos
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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