There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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