we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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