Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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