The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
