oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
