Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
