if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
