I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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