apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
