Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
