One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
