Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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