I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
