Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
