whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize