is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
