I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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