you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
