You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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