He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
