why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
