Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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