check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
