I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
