so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
