Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
