I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
