i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You took a bar mat shot.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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