So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You're like the curious george of whores
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
