We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
