Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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