my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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