Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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