found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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