The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
