Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
