You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
