Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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