Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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