I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
