The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
