Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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