Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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