i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
