dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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