Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
