I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize