If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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