Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
we're so committed to being not committed
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
