I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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