I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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